Why?

What reason do I have to feel this way? I’ve been depressed all week, and it’s only gotten worse as the week has gone on. I feel this empty black hole inside, and it hurts, it’s so painful, I’ve been crying tonight. I had a fight with Jason, I just want to go to sleep and wake up and not have this stupid disorder anymore. It’s not fair…to me or to my family. I need my best friends, but they’re both 3000 miles away. I miss them both so much. and Tabby hardly ever messages me anymore….and I miss my mamaw so much! I want to scream, really scream, at the top of my lungs for everyone to hear. Nobody understands me or what it’s like, I try to tell them, and make it easy to understand, but they just can’t grasp it, or forget…I don’t know. But I feel so empty and alone. It hurts to breathe, my skin crawls, my arms and legs are restless, I can’t focus on anything for more than 2 minutes at a time if I’m actually using my brain, I think I’ve slept an extra…at least, 8 hours and I’m still exhausted, I want to punch everyone around me that says something stupid, riding on the train this week has been a test of willpower. There is some obnoxious couple having a drunken fight outside my window right now, yelling profanities right and left, and it’s taking every ounce of control I have left in me, to not scream at them to shut the fuck up.

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